When Weariness is Sacred

I want to come right out and say something that typically I just hope for silently. This post isn’t about me looking for someone to pick me up. My desire to reveal personal struggles and frustrations comes in part from a desire to push myself to be open and vulnerable, but it is also in hopes that my struggles will connect with yours, the reader.

My real hope and intention is to highlight our common experience. I’m often weighed down with the (false) belief that I’m the only one dealing with something - my prayer is that through these confessions you will be freed from that same fear.

End of disclaimer...

In Galatians 6 the apostle Paul tells us to not grow weary (or lose heart, or give up) in doing good. But that is sometimes much easier said than done, isn’t it?

There are certainly times when doing good is energizing and there are plenty of times when doing good is exhausting and depressing. When everything you do seems to amount to nothing, its hard not to grow weary. When everything you TRY to do seems to fall apart it is hard not to give up.

I’m feeling that way a little today. Over the past couple weeks we’ve had several things planned that I was excited about participating in; things that were meant to be a benefit to others or to connect to community. First the Chick-Fil-A trip last week was postponed since they decided not to open until this week. Several people had taken off work in order to participate - which meant that not only was their plan to use a day off to serve others thwarted, it also meant they probably wouldn’t be able to turn around and get a day off again the next week.

Then our concert at Relay for Life was rained out. After a 4 hour practice session and high hopes for connecting with folks through this great event...nothing.

Then this week, as many of you know, 5 of us loaded up and left Burleson at 6:30 to drive down to the Austin area for the actual Chick-Fil-A event. We arrived at 9 am hoping to be one of the first 100 people in line and discovered that there were already 150 people in line. We cleared our schedules (which was not easy to do) and then drove to Austin so that we could donate half the tickets to Harvest House...only to turn around and drive home empty handed.

These are just the failed attempts to do good which are appropriate to share in public. Trying to do good is making me weary.

I was talking to a friend recently who is dealing with weariness and actually felt worse after reading the Galatians 6 passage.

The comment was made to the effect that perhaps the weariness felt was an indicator of guilt and God’s judgement; perhaps the inability to receive comfort from God means that God is angry or absent or something.

...we are directed to 2 Peter 1:3-4. ‘His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness…’ And then to 2 Cor 9:8: God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” That’s supposed to make me feel better, too. But it doesn’t. What if God isn’t really in me? He is able to make grace abound…apparently he hasn’t done so in me. Because I’m tired. And I certainly don’t feel like I’ve abounded in every good work.

While reflecting on these comments it struck me - this weariness and these wounds are sacred. They are sacred and they are Holy because they have come as a result of seeking to live under the reign of God right under Caesar’s nose.

If you aren’t familiar with that reference, the phrase “Jesus is Lord” was a rebellious statement for Christians living under the Roman empire which had a well known and often used slogan of “Caesar is Lord.” So in effect the Christians were saying, “Jesus is Lord and Caesar is not.” This was dangerous for them...and my point is that its dangerous for us too.

Its dangerous for us to reject the accepted cultures of entitlement. It is dangerous to live in the Way of Jesus who said it is better to lay down your life than to seek ways to keep the cycle of violence and retribution going. It is better to pour oneself out in order to serve the poor and oppressed than it is to pour oneself out to get ahead. It is better to turn the other cheek; to also give your shirt to the person stealing your coat; to love your enemies. It is better to consider others better than yourself. It is better to risk it all in order to do what you know God is calling you to do than to choose the safe path.

But so long as we live in a world that is still groaning in anticipation of God’s restoration and reconciliation; so long as Caesar is still able oppose the Lord; so long as God’s Kingdom is already here but not yet fully here then practicing life in the Kingdom will be risky and painful and exhausting. And the weariness we feel, the wounds we nurse, the scars we bear are holy and sacred because they share in the weariness, wounds and scars experienced by Jesus, God Incarnate.

That may not make bearing these burdens easier in the moment. But, when Jesus was praying in the garden on the night he was arrested it says “An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Luke 22:43-44). Even after the angel appeared to strengthen him Jesus was in anguish.

I realize that some will say, “our situation is not nearly as serious as that of Jesus.” Maybe, but our connection to the source of hope isn’t as clear as his was either. The process of restoring broken relationships is difficult. The cost is high.

So back to Paul’s words:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers (Galatians 6:9-10).

Not becoming weary here is not meant as an accusation against those who are tired - it is an encouragement not to give up, to hang in there, to resist the temptation to throw in the towel. It is hard, but what we say and do does matter...even if the results are not what we’d initially hoped.

Don’t give up on the call to be God’s people - that call is radical and risky and should never be sold out for something safe and watered down. And know that even if you return from Austin empty-handed that you have invested something in the new heavens and new earth. We are joining with God in reforming and reconciling his good creation.

So hang in there! Don’t give up!

Grace and Peace to you.

Long Overdue Update:

Dear Friends and Family,

I’m sorry that it has been so long since our last full fledged update. Life and ministry here in Burleson have been exciting and exhausting (in mostly good ways) over the last couple months.

We are just a couple weeks away from the 1 year mark since beginning to fundraise and vision cast for the Wells family church planting endeavor and its now been 6 months since we moved to Burleson.

Many of you are already aware that Rachel has begun organizing the preschool ministry at Christ Journey. We don’t have many teenagers, but our little community is chock-a-block full of nursery, preschool and elementary aged kids! Recently one of our friends with a mere 2 children commented that they were feeling pressure to join the 3 kids club - a prestigious society of which most of our families are a part!

Last month Rachel noticed (with the help of Conner) that our children’s worship/Bible class did not have Bibles! Rachel put out a request on facebook and the world renowned wellsbrothers blog for financial help to procure some Bibles. Within just a couple days we had enough money to purchase the Bibles with some left over to replace them as we have opportunity to give them away. We feel very strongly that we have no right to keep those sacred Words to ourselves...if someone worships with us who doesn’t own a Bible the message is explicit: if you need one, take one. 

To those of you who contributed to this need, we cannot sufficiently express our gratitude! Your partnership in this ministry is so valuable.

We’ve had the privilege of seeing several house churches planted recently. Let me tell you a little about two that I’m especially excited about. There is a government assisted townhouse/apartment community here in Burleson known as Shenendoah. Christ Journey connected with folks in this neighborhood in the past through a kid’s camp that was apparently a great success. Recently we reconnected with some of the folks from Shenendoah and began asking what it would look like to host a house church (and eventually a series of house churches) in this community. That has become a reality. In addition to myself, the family hosting and one couple from Christ Journey, we also have made connection with several other families in the neighborhood, including the director of Shenendoah and the director of Harvest House ministries. 

Robin, one of the hosts, is in the process of organizing a neighborhood watch (which we’ll participate with in some way), a safe house/after-school/summer program for teens, and a neighborhood block party with free hotdogs for everyone! People from all kinds of backgrounds are interested in what we’re doing because it is more of a Christlike lifestyle in the midst of the community than just a Bible study (as great as Bible study is!)

Also, on Wednesday nights we are participating in a new “house church” in the Chappotins’ front yard. Basically we gather around the grill and invite all the neighbors to bring something to put on the pit. There’s always plenty of extra for anyone who may not have anything and we make sure they know they’re welcome to it! We also invite a few families from Christ Journey to join us - in part to hang out, in part to model community for Chris and Heidi’s neighbors and in part to model communal living for our own folks. 

This past Sunday we were able to do a neighborhood barbecue at the home of Jimmy and Debra Osborn and have had several other families ask how to get this going at their own houses. Our goal is for as many of our families as possible to reclaim their front yards as sacred space - where the love of Christ is displayed and strangers are welcomed in. IT IS HAPPENING!!!

I’ve just begun the training/certification program to serve as a coach for Mission Alive. We’ve already found coaching techniques to be helpful in our continual training and equipping of house church leaders and plan to use this more and more in the future. This will also provide me with an opportunity to bring in some additional income to augment our financial needs.

Speaking of finances, after much prayer and discernment regarding fundraising and funding options, Chris and I have made the decision to research and pursue opportunities to lead retreats for other churches and groups. We don’t anticipate this fully supporting either of our families, but it will give us a setting to bless others with some experiences which have already blessed our community. In doing so we hope to connect with potential partners in our ministry and raise awareness regarding the value of church planting movements.

Right now we have four retreats that we are using cyclically with Christ Journey. Two of these retreats -  Marvelous Light, a spiritual cleansing and renewal retreat and City on a Hill, a leadership identification and equipping retreat - have been a part of Christ Journey’s spiritual formation process for a while now. 

The addition of Foundations to the retreat schedule has already proven valuable. We recently participated in this event, which I converted from the previous format of a series of evening discussions. It focuses on reading, hearing and telling the grand narrative of Scripture.

We also believe that Sanctuary, an experience in ancient Christian disciplines and spirituality, will also be powerful. Sanctuary is based on retreats that I’ve led, participated in and cultivated over the past several years. I'm indebted to Shawn Small, Molly Wren and those with the Converge Youth Ministers Network in Dallas where I first experienced a retreat like this around 5 years ago.

We hope to be able to serve and encourage other ministries with these experiences which have been so important to us and the Christ Journey community. 

Rachel and I (and the Chappotins as well) are seeking to be creative, diligent and discerning in our continued process of funding this mission work. Over the last few months we have made tremendous relationships with our neighbors - many of whom would be classified among the “suburban poor,” working families that are barely keeping bill collectors at bay (and often haven’t been able to do so). 

The reality is that these families contribute much to our community; we are richer because of their friendship. But their contribution is not financial. We are reaching out to the hurting, the broken the forgotten and overlooked. But Chrysler still wants us to make our car payments, student loans sit quietly in the corner grinning and the Wellsbrothers expect to eat multiple times each day.

As humbling as it is to say this, I cannot do this alone. 

Many of you have partnered with us financially over the last year and because of you there is a 19 year-old single mom working at Denny’s who just began school to become a medical assistant; who didn’t have to choose between paying registration costs or buying food for her baby (which was exactly what she was doing until you helped her). 

There is a family from up north who wouldn’t have had any friends to turn to when the husband ended up in the hospital with pneumonia, but now they have meals being provided for them every night this week.

There are a group of people who’ve rarely eaten in a restaurant who now sit down with new friends at Rosa’s each month to feast on tacos.

People who didn’t know their neighbors are sharing hotdogs and hamburgers in their front yards; children who didn’t have Bibles have one of their own; darkness that seemed so oppressive is obliterated by light...despair is struggling to hang on as hope creeps in to places for the first time. If you haven’t seen or heard it yet, let me encourage you to check out the sermon from Christ Journey’s worship gathering on March 15 (message transcript  or link to podcast of gathering- ) 

We are experiencing a community where the effects of the Fall are being rejected by the call to reclaim community in Christ.

And we need the continued financial support of our friends in order to continue in this mission. At the one year mark of our fundraising efforts, there are some who have the decision to renew a one-year commitment and others who made special gifts who have the choice to do so again. If that is you, we ask you to prayerfully consider your partnership in this ministry. 

We need you. 

We need your friends, family, neighbors and congregations. You may not be in a position to drop everything and begin planting churches - and yet you can. You can help this network of house churches, worship gatherings and Christ-formed relationships continue to expand through this region and beyond.

Feel free to print this out and share it with others whom you believe may be interested.

Also, if you know of a church or group that may be interested in participating in a Sanctuary, Foundations, Marvelous Light or City on a Hill retreat - or something similar - please help us get in touch with them.

Thank you for serving as our co-laborers in the gospel.

Grace and Peace,

Bret, Rachel and the Wellsbrothers